Rollercoaster

Wow, people aren't kidding when they say this surrogacy stuff is a huge rollercoaster. 


I got a call from our nurse today and our transfer has been canceled. There was a miscommunication with the doctor's orders and the embies didn't get taken out to thaw. My IP's have a bunch of frozen 1 day embies, and they were supposed to be taken out to grow to 5 day blasts, (day 5 being Wednesday) but they weren't taken out at all. Our doctor doesn't want to take them out and thaw them now and just push back the transfer, because I've already been on progesterone for a few days and my lining/cycle would be out of whack. 


Don't get me wrong, we are all very thankful that they didn't screw up the embies or damage them. I know it could have been a lot worse! It's just a huge shock and disappointment. 


I couldn't ask for better and more amazing IP's. They are so supportive and encouraging, caring and wonderful. After they took their anger out on our doctor (LOL) we talked and they just wanted to make sure I was okay. They know a lot goes into it, from getting coverage at work, finding care for my daughter, etc., to sharp pokes and hormone madness pulsing through me. C (who is a physician) never fails to make me laugh with comments like, "Oh, you're gonna have one hell of a period!"


So the next step is to wean off meds, have a period, and start over. We're looking at January 20th or 21st for a transfer and we are all excited to do it right this time! We're very optimistic that we will be pregnant before we know it and hopefully this journey will be relatively smooth sailing from here on out.


Thank you all for your support and encouragement, and as always...


Thank you for reading
xoxo

We're going to make a baby!

My ultrasound yesterday showed my lining measuring between 8 and 9mm and the doctor said the transfer is ON! 


The big day is Wednesday the 21st. I fly down to LA on Tuesday and come home Thursday. I AM SO EXCITED! I can't wait to see my IP's and make a baby! 


If everyone would send sticky vibes my way, it would be greatly appreciated! I will leave you with a picture of my daughter and I.... we finally got our Christmas tree put up on Tuesday. Better late than never, right?! Oh! And I got a surprise package from Nordstrom today- a beautiful Christmas gift from my IP's! As I'm sure you're getting used to, I am not patient, so I opened it as soon as I got it :) Here's a picture of that too.


Thanks for reading
xoxo

Disappointment

Well, we got confident a little too soon. My ultrasound showed that my lining was only measuring 6mm and it needs to be between 8 and 12 for the doctor to feel 100% comfortable going forward with the transfer. So we increased my estrogen tonight and I have a repeat ultrasound on Friday. If my lining is thick enough, we will transfer on Wednesday the 21st or Thursday the 22nd, instead of the planned Monday the 19th. If my lining isn't thick enough, we will be canceling the transfer and starting over. 


I am disappointed and worried that things aren't going to work out. My IP's are more than supportive and say they aren't upset, that this is just part of the journey. The ups and downs are to be expected and sometimes nothing goes as planned. They are completely okay to try again in January if this cycle doesn't recover. 


So if you all wouldn't mind, PLEASE send some fluffy vibes my way and hope my lining works some magic in the next 3 days! I'll let you know how the ultrasound goes on Friday morning. 


Thanks for reading
xoxo

Tayleigh-isms

My daughter never ceases to amaze me! Tonight I was talking to her about my trip, preparing her for me being gone for 2 days, telling her that I was going to LA to see my IP's, and explaining that this was when the doctor was going to put the baby in my belly. She says, "So, you're going to come back and your belly is going to be big??" I explained that the baby starts off verrrrry tiny and we put it in my belly and hope it sticks. If it sticks, then the baby starts growing and gets to eat what I eat, that's how it gets bigger. She says, "It eats everything you eat? Like coffee too??" (I love coffee and drink it daily!) I said yes, but told her I wouldn't be drinking coffee after the baby was in my belly because coffee isn't good for babies. She responded with, "But Mom, how are you going to survive? Coffee is your LIFE!" I cracked up! I asked her what she thought I should eat that would be good for the baby, and she rattled off things like bananas, tomatoes, chicken, milk, and juice. She's so smart!


Another funny Tayleigh-ism was last week. We had my boss's baby (she's 5 months old;  I often watch her on my day off) and we were at the grocery store getting stuff to make dinner. The checker says, "Oh, let me look at your little sister!" To which Tayleigh responds, "Uh, she's not ours." I couldn't help but burst out laughing! Then it got me thinking of all the hilarious things that are bound to come out of her mouth when I start showing and people start asking her about the baby in my belly :) 


I love talking to Tay about this process and teaching her about what's going on. She is so smart and really seems to get what's going on (as much as a 6 year old can). I'm sure there will be challenging questions that come up as we navigate this journey (how babies are born?!) but I can't wait to watch her grow and learn right along side of me. She is so nurturing and empathetic and I know she will take fabulous care of me and also of the future baby- bringing me yummy food, talking to the baby, reading it stories, etc. I will be sure to update with more funny stories as they happen! 


Thanks for reading
xoxo

OMG!

Holy smokes, one week from today I will be having dinner with my IP's in LA. I just got off the phone with K and they bought our tickets for the transfer already! We were going to wait until my lining check tomorrow, but they spoke with our nurse last week and she was very confident that everything was going to be a go for the 19th so they went ahead and booked the flights. I AM SO EXCITED!!! I am usually the most impatient person in the world, but for some reason I have had this strange sense of calmness over the last few weeks. I'm not sure if it's because of being so busy at work and preparing for the holidays, maybe I just haven't had time to be impatient? Whatever the reason, I'm really enjoying it :) 


I have had 4 estrogen injections now, and I'm still feeling pretty good. I didn't have any side effects after the first shot, but the 2nd and 3rd brought bloating and uterine fullness, and a 5 pound weight gain in one week! REALLY?! I was not a happy girl after getting on the scale at work on Thursday, LOL! The last couple days I've been feeling some breast tenderness/sensitivity and definitely some mild mood swings. I can be very easily irritable one minute and then very happy the next. I've also noticed that I'm more easily emotional at times, I'm sure my boss is just loving that! 


After my lining check and blood work tomorrow, I think we will add progesterone injections on top of my estrogen. I am hoping for good results, because tomorrow is my one and only ultrasound... some of the other girls have had a couple ultrasounds already to monitor their lining and adjust their estrogen as necessary, and I haven't... so that makes me a little nervous! Fingers crossed for good results, and I will update after I hear something tomorrow!


Thanks for reading
xoxo

Feeling blessed

I'm in a group on Facebook that is a means of support for surrogates who are with Growing Generations. We all have different stories and different situations but we all have one thing in common- what we're doing for our IP's. It is so awesome to have that support group- people I can go to and ask questions, vent, brag, etc., and we are all always there for each other. It is also very interesting to hear about the different relationships that surrogates have with their IP's. 


As time goes on, I feel more and more blessed to have been matched with the parents I was matched with. After our Skype match meeting, they sent me gorgeous flowers with a card that read "We're thrilled to be working with you. Thank you for helping complete our family." The other night, K called just to tell me he was thinking of me and wanted to check on how things were going. It was weird because I had just been thinking of them not 10 minutes earlier and then he called! Yesterday C emailed me to tell me how excited they are about the transfer and how they hope my shots aren't too terrible. One of the girls in my group has been getting (lots!) of extra money from her IP's- their way of showing her how thankful they are. Other girls receive gifts, some girls don't have very close relationships with their IP's at all. While everyone loves gifts and money, I can honestly say that those random phone calls and emails mean more to me than any bonus check or piece of jewelry ever could. 


Not a day (more like an hour!!) goes by that I'm not thinking about my IP's and how excited I am about this process. It's nice to know that I am on their mind too! I feel so honored that they have chosen me to be such an important part of their lives and their family. I have a feeling that over the next year or so, I am going to have a constant feeling of happiness and love surrounding me and I am so excited about it! I can't wait for the wonderful things that are in our future as we embark on this adventure as a great team :) 


Thanks for reading
xoxo