Tuesday, September 11, 2012

36 and 1

How far along? 36 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: Up 25lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes and no. Maternity tops, regular bottoms. 
Stretch marks? No new ones, but I have lots from my 9lb 5oz daughter!
Sleep: Depends on the night. When I get lucky, I only wake up 2x to pee. Other nights it's 6x. 
Best moment this week: Finding out I'm fingertip dilated and 70% effaced! 
Have you told family and friends: Yes.
Miss Anything? Sleeping through the night, and my clothes fitting! 
Movement: Lots of movement! She rocks and rolls in the morning and evening. I love it! 
Food cravings: Not really.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.
Have you started to show yet: Yes, I'm feeling huge.
Gender prediction: She has been confirmed a girl! 
Labor Signs: Not really. Lots of Braxton Hicks but that's about it. 
Belly Button in or out? In, but getting more shallow!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Mostly happy. Today I was cranky and annoyed about EVERYTHING at work. Only 2 more weeks and I get to go down to working 2 days per week. Maybe she will come before then :) 
Looking forward to: Working part time, and meeting this sweet girl! Not having to pee every 30min!
Not loving: The uncomfortable feelings, and getting tired so much easier. Other than that, I'm still doing great! 

Had my doctor's appointment yesterday and everything is still great! I can't wait to meet this sweet girl, but I want her to stay in until Monday at least. There's something more reassuring to me about 37 weeks, than 36 weeks. I'm still working full time and I'm definitely feeling it at the end of the day! I am tired and a little more irritable than usual ;) 

I talked to K the other night and they are packed and ready to come at a moments notice! They're excited and anxious and it makes my heart feel full :) The crib is set up, her clothes are put away, she has diapers and sheets, we can now have a baby! I guess that means I should pack a bag for the hospital, right? I have a lot of stuff I still want to get done before she comes, and I have a feeling this weekend is going to be a busy one, getting it all done! 

I'll update next week after my doctor's appointment! Fingers crossed for more cervical progress! 

Thanks for reading

I think she looks lower, what do you think? Ps. Sorry about the dirty mirror, my daughter is an enthusiastic teeth brusher, apparently ;) 

Monday, September 3, 2012

the sads

It hit me a week or so ago that this journey is almost over. The last 3ish weeks have been so busy at work that they have flown by and now we're almost full term! I had a lightbulb come on and it made me panic for a moment, because I'm not ready for this to end! I was trying to work through my feelings to pinpoint exactly why I was feeling sad and I think it is just the fear of the unknown... Not knowing how things will be after the Bean is born. I text one of the dad's that I was having brief moments of sads because our journey was almost over and he replied, "No sads, our journey is just beginning!" I'm taking that as a good sign that I will get to maintain a lifelong friendship with this amazing family I helped create. 

I don't, by any means, want to keep the Bean, and I'm not feeling more attached to her (which are questions people have asked now that her birth is getting closer), but it's a surreal feeling to think that usually the joy of pregnancy transitions into the joy of bringing a baby home and that isn't the case in this situation! It's definitely a different concept to wrap your head and emotions around; that you are going to have this baby, not be pregnant and then......... ? *insert sads and panic here* 

A lot of girls talk about the feelings of not knowing what their role is, feeling unneeded because their "job" is now over, etc. I feel fortunate that I work full time and am a single mom, so that always keeps me extremely busy- pregnant or not! I will be pumping for an undetermined amount of time, so that will buy me some guaranteed contact and interaction for awhile, too. I've also decided that I'm going to take my daughter on a vacation towards the end of my maternity leave, as a thank you for being so supportive, helpful, and amazing throughout this whole process. So we have that to look forward to! 

I know everything is going to be just fine, and I feel so blessed to have been chosen to be a part of this amazing experience for this amazing family. I am more at peace with the situation now, and am back to being excited about meeting this sweet girl and seeing her daddies with her for the first time! I am just trying to enjoy every second, take in every wiggle and hiccup, and soak it all in while I can. 

To end on a happier note, we are 35 weeks today and everything is going great! I am starting to feel uncomfortable and HEAVY, although I've been assured that I don't look as large as I feel ;) I have a doctor's appointment next Monday, and then it's time for our weekly appointments! I'll leave you with my 35 week picture. 

Thanks for reading